Bush Pardons Thanksgiving Turkey

Yes, the annual pardon of the turkey. This "fluff piece" was reported by just about every news outlet on the planet. But what wasn't reported by anyone was the Presidential Signing Statement that went along with the pardon. While the turkey was spared execution, President Bush reserved the right to subject the turkey to waterboarding, electrocution and sleep deprivation.

There was also an unconfirmed report that the turkey was invited to go quail/campaign contributor hunting by Vice President Dick Cheney.

A senior staffer commented on background that he overheard the turkey saying "I think I would feel safer at Michael Vick's house." Apparently due to lack of news reaching Guantanamo where the turkey was being held prior to today's pardon, the turkey was unaware that Vick turned himself into authorities yesterday to begin serving his jail sentence early. There have been no further reports on the health and welfare of the turkey since today's proceedings concluded. Tom the Turkey, our prayers are with you.